Oh. My. God.

One of my officemates is driving me fucking insane.

He begins his morning by sniffing. Apparently he has allergies or a cold or something. It's more like snorting than sniffing. He really gets into it.

Then he has his mid-morning snack, which he chews with his mouth open, smacking his lips.

Then he has tea, which he slurps. Slurps, not sips.

So the question is: after I stab him to death my my pen, should I drag his body into a conference room when no one is looking, or just leave him propped up at his desk and tell people he is sleeping?