Life in the Real World

Here are some headlines of articles that I refuse to read, because they make me depressed and irritated:
"Bush Rejects Stem Cell Compromise"
"Court Lets Cheney Keep Talks Secret"
"Agriculture Dept. Paid Journalist for Favorable Stories"
"Evolution on Trial as Kansas Debates Adam vs. Darwin"

Here some headlines that demonstrate my commitment to keeping up to date with today's critical issues:
"'Sith' Fans Maimed in Light Saber Mishap"
"Jolie Claims No Pitt Relationship"

I don't give a damn about the United Nations or Darfur (is that a country or a city or what?) or North Korea. I just want to know what the hell happened with Brad and Jen!