Financial Crisis

I just realized that after I graduate next month, I won't be able to get student loans anymore. What will I do? (I know, I know, get a job. Shut up, Mom.)

I've sort of fallen into a regular routine: log on, check the bank account balance, quickly apply for a new loan, con the real lawyers at my internship into buying me lunch for a few days, receive check, deposit, resume partying. Lather, rinse, repeat.

But now those days are coming to an end. And I think some of those banks might be serious about wanting that money back.

I actually tried getting a job last month, but Target wouldn't hire me. I think I failed the personality test. There were a bunch of questions like:

"How smart do you consider yourself to be, in relation to everyone else?
A. Smarter than everyone
B. Smarter than 25% of the people
C. Smarter than 50% of the people
. . ." and so on.

I answered "A" to all these types of questions -- because, you know, statistically, I am smarter than 95% of the population. But I wasn't going to flaunt it or anything -- I was just going to work the cash register and keep to myself and not brag about being able to make change.
But I think their computer screening program flagged me as a psychopath. Oh well. Maybe I can work at Starbucks.