People I Don't Like, #1

My roommate thinks it's extremely amusing that I refuse to play online computer games (like World of Warcraft) because they require too much human interaction. He tried for a while to convince me to play Guild Wars, because even though it's a multiplayer game, you can successfully complete most of the quests without talking to other people. I said "yeah, sure, but the other people are still there and there's nothing to prevent them from trying to talk to me."

So I have decided to do a series of posts about people who I don't like for specific reasons (as opposed to just resenting their mere existence based on general principle). Here is #1:

Who: Midwestern guy who always ends up sitting behind me in class.

Why I don't like him: He says stupid stuff, and he says it very slowly. I live in a part of the country where people talk very fast (and walk fast and drive fast and don't like to wait for anything). And it drives me absolutely crazy when people talk slowly and use too many words. When this guy talks in class I just want to grab him and shake him and say "Faster, dammit, faster! Less space between the words! Commas are for pussies! Spit it out, goddammit!"