Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Live TV Review: CSI

[Now that I am class-free and jobless, I am watching TV shows when they are actually on TV, instead of 3 years later when they come out on DVD.]

I've heard a lot about CSI - how juries expect every case to have the full "CSI" treatment with fancy scientific tests and all that. But I don't remember ever hearing about how graphic the gross, bug-eaten dead bodies are. I don't need to see that. If I wanted reality, I would watch the news, not CSI. Well, not the local news. And not Fox. I guess I'd watch the Nature channel?

Naked Britney Spears Pictures!

Britney Spears has posed naked for Harper's Bazaar, the pictures have been leaked, and I want to see them. Here's why -

We all know that in real life, Britney looks like this:

But on the cover of Harper's Bazaar, she looks like this:

So, to be honest - on Sundays, when I wake up hung over and go to Dunkin Donuts in my pajamas, I look like picture #1. And okay, I probably look like picture #1 on some other days of the week, especially during exams. But I like to imagine that I could look like picture #2, with a little effort (except for the pregnancy part). I know it took a dozen professional stylists and hours of photo manipulation to create picture #2. But I could make a similar transformation on my own, right? With some self-tanner, and the right accessories? Maybe if I had the right eyeshadow. Oooh, and new shoes.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

DVD Review: Stargate SG-1

I believe that movies and TV shows about space travel have an obligation to come up with an explanation for why aliens from other planets speak English. For example, I think Star Trek had some sort of "universal translator" that everyone put in their ears, or something like that. It doesn't matter how preposterous it was, the point is that they tried. Stargate doesn't even try. Everyone on all the planets just speaks English. With an accent, of course.

[57 days until classes start again]

Sunday, June 25, 2006

59 days until classes start again

100 Yale L.J. 1679:

"Remember those horror movies in which somebody wearing a hockey mask terrorizes people at a summer camp and slowly and carefully slashes them all into bloody little pieces? That's what the first year of law school is like. Except it's worse, because the professors don't wear hockey masks, and you have to look directly at their faces."

Monday, June 12, 2006

Movie Review: Rent

I managed to not see the movie or the musical, and to be completely ignorant of the plot, until last month. Here's my plot summary:

There's a bunch of "bohemians". They refuse to get jobs, because that would interfere with their art. The fact that they are artists means that they shouldn't have to pay for rent or heat or electricity like the rest of us - their landlord and the rest of us non-artistic taxpayers should support them, because their status as "bohemians" makes them superior to everyone else.

They are also morally superior to the rest of us because of their support for the homeless. They don't actually give any money to homeless people, because they don't have any money. They don't pay any taxes that could be used for shelters, food kitchens, drug treatment programs, housing subsidies, or mental health treatment. But they seem to think that the performance art is going to make some sort of difference.

The landlord who wants to evict the homeless people so that he can start a profitable (and tax-paying) business is a selfish bastard.

Is there something I missed, or was that really the plot?

Productive use of my summer vacation

Just because I blew off getting a job or taking any classes in favor of sleeping till noon every day, it doesn't mean I'm wasting my summer. I just spent an afternoon conducting some very productive internet research.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

DVD Review: Numb3rs

It's a TV show about math! Starring Mr. Universe as a math nerd! I love it!

Maybe I should try watching some TV shows when they're actually on TV. I could get one of those Tivo things.

UPDATE: OMG! I can get the whole 2nd season from iTunes! I'm going to wait a few days though, since I watched the entire first season yesterday and it might be good to take a little break.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Why, for the love of God, why?

Now you can finish law school in 2 years!

I think that the crazy people who do this deserve their inevitable heart attacks. 18 credits a semester? Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket, what the hell for? You're going to live like 70 years, what's the problem with spending 3 of those years in law school? If finishing fast is so important, why not do some sort of Clockwork Orange thing where you're strapped into a chair and your eyelids are taped open and sections of the UCC are flashed in front of your eyes 24 hours a day. Then you could finish law school in 6 months!! Wouldn't that be super!!